result #29989 - SHOULD WE RE-LEGALIZE HUMAN SLAVERY?

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SHOULD WE RE-LEGALIZE HUMAN SLAVERY?

[+] joke ballot by DirtDog
created Tue Apr 27, 04

Just hear me out. I don't mean slavery based on race or anything, but perhaps when people go into debt, they can agree to become slaves rather than declaring bankruptcy. An individual or corporation could effectively "buy" the person by agreeing to pay off all of their debts in exchange for slave labor for a given ammount of time. The new master will be responsible for the slaves shelter, food, and healthcare. The length of time served as a slave can be worked out beforehand based on the persons value and ammount of debt. The slave and master could work out the terms and conditions in a legaly binding contract that is mutually benificial to all. For example: Say your new master would really prefer to be able to beat you once in a while, but you prefer not to be beaten. Maybe you could just work out a compromise where you can be beaten no more than twice a month, and even then, only with an open fist or leather belt. In return, your new master could agree to cut some time off your sentence or give you other privilages.
Legal slavery would also have more benifits. Let's face it. The youth always needs new fads and cool trends. In my opinion, thugs, boarders, goths, and punks are a bit played out. I think legalized slavery could start a whole new "slave chic" craze. Kids could walk around in ratty clothes and wear chains on their wrists. It would really be cool. And think about what a good status symbol it would be to actually own your own slave! The hell with expensive cars and fancy clothes. A person with their own personal slave can really flaunt their success. How cool would it be to be in the grocery store and when the gocer asks if he help carry your bags to the car, you just say, "Nooooo thanks, my good sir. Myyyy slaaaave will do that for me!" You could then proceed to light an expensive Cuban cigar with a $100 bill. And guys, how cool would it be to have sex with a hot slave girl? VERY COOL!
There could even be annual expo events where people can gather to buy, sell, and trade their slaves. Even seminars on how get get the most out of your slave while keeping them happy. Owning slaves could be the next best investment since real estate!
Right now, legalized slavery is only a pipe dream. But with your help and support, I think we can someday make this dream a reality. What do you say folks?

no	18
yes	16
DirtDog is a sick freak	7
Only to enslave NeoCons	2

Ballot #29989: has 43 total votes.
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COMMENTS:
This idea is sick.

by CriminalMinded on Tue Apr 27, 04 1:43pm [+]

I could use a full time designated driver, u wanna be my slave?

by ABC on Tue Apr 27, 04 1:45pm [+]

...dude, WTF?!

by Wark on Tue Apr 27, 04 1:50pm [+]

I don't think you read my proposal well enough. Rape is only one of the many benefits of owning a slave.
:-)

by DirtDog on Wed Apr 28, 04 2:20pm [+]

Why yes, I am!

by DirtDog on Wed Apr 28, 04 2:30pm [+]

great poll

by FreeRadical on Fri Apr 30, 04 8:37pm [+]

yr totally prev anyways r u hot lookin i cld always use sumone to do stuff fr me obviously yr actually jus tryin to sell yrself

by scizo on Fri Jul 16, 04 4:35pm [+]

Once technology improves, robots will probably make much better slaves than humans. In the long run re-legalizing human slavery won't have a future, except maybe for the perverts who want to take advantage of slaves. But maybe robots will be better at that, too.

by zorra on Sun Jul 25, 04 9:13am [+]

Where do i sign?

by xxxxxxxx on Thu Jul 29, 04 8:27am [+]

I've heard some bad ideas but that takes the cake. Because of course that would never be abused.

by cdubatrc on Sat Aug 28, 04 12:17am [+]

are you for real about the rape?

by blackprincess on Fri Sep 10, 04 9:49pm [+]

This was call Indentured Servitude back in the day. People would pay off debts or boat fare in return for 7 years labor.

by Trainman on Sun Sep 12, 04 1:32am [+]

Isn't this already legal

Just substitute the word "work" for "slave" and look for the guy making more than a 1000 families do; you can call him "master" !

by ____Merovingian____ on Tue Oct 19, 04 10:01pm [+]

you sir, are a sick puppy.

by LCD on Tue Jan 18, 05 6:16am [+]

Nigeria is just barely starting to address its legal slavery.

But that probably defies some on this site idea of ideology.

by xxxxxxxx on Sun Apr 17, 05 2:22am [+]

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