COMMENTS:
What? You haven't already? I gave a friend a prescription strength motrin when he broke his arm, so I guess that's a felony what with the presciption and all. It certainly isn't a narcotic, but still...
Go to America illegally, get a driving license and really shittily paid job. At least you won't get into trouble.
Collect your farts in a balloon for a couple of weeks, then inhale it in one drag. Hold a lighter in front of your mouth and exhale it into a cops face.
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