result #65734 - WELCOME TO THE MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE , PLEASE MAKE A SELECTION FROM THE FOLLOWING CHOICES.

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advice : culture : WELCOME TO THE MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE , PLEASE MAKE A SELECTION FROM THE FOLLOWING CHOICES.

[+] joke ballot by maxxman
created Wed Jan 26, 05

If you have a specific neurosis take 2 prozac and call us in half an hour.Which of the following do you need?

If you're jappy, call back under an assumed name	23%
If you're Obsessive Compulsive , press 1 repeatedly.	15%
If you are Paranoid , We know who you are , stay on the line so we can trace your call.	15%
If you're grandiose , no one here is worthy of talking to you.	7%
If you're depressed, hang up. It's hopeless	7%
If your suicidal, slash the phone lines this way X	7%
If you have megalomania, please choke on a pretzel	7%
If you think you are possessed, press 666	7%
IC: You are not worth our time, hang up now	7%
If you are Co - Dependant have someone press 2 for you.	0%
If you have Multiple Personalities press 3,4,5,and 6.	0%
If you are delusional , press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship.	0%
If you're Manic Depressiveit doesn't matter which line you press no one will answer.	0%
If you're schizophrenic listen closely, and a small voice will tell you which line to press.	0%
If you're dyslexic press 969696969696.	0%
If you're Psychotic , put away any sharp objects , then maybe we'll talk to you.	0%
If you're schizoid , you won't want to talk	0%
Bipolar: press 1 or #, depending	0%
Borderlines: sorry, no one is available to help.	0%
Passive-aggressives: just stare at the phone	0%
Republicans: please go to the red courtesy phone.	0%
If you are agoraphobic, press 8 for an inside line	0%

Ballot #65734: has 26 total votes.
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COMMENTS:
If you're schizoid, please hang up now because you won't want to talk to anyone here.

by zorra on Wed Jan 26, 05 9:38am [+]

I KNEW that was YOU on the line! STOP CALLING ME!

by Truthseeker013 on Wed Jan 26, 05 5:22pm [+]

IC = Inferiority Complex, it wouldn't fit in the choices.

by INTT23 on Wed Jan 26, 05 11:27pm [+]

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