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[+] serious ballot by larrynelmira

You may have seen my (can’t live with family ballot), my aunt thinks I’m Living a life of sin, I’m far from being an angel, but I don’t drink alcohol except for a glass of wine every once in awhile, I don’t do drugs, what I do that got my family member to go on a crusade is having sexual relations before marriage.

I asked this question in both Islamic and Christian chat rooms and sex before marriage won as most unacceptable behavior, if all Christians and Muslims share this opinion I have billions of votes against me. :(

What if any would you consider unacceptable behavior, your personal view, if you are religious person does that influence your decision?

Taking of Drugs
Taking of Alcohol
Taking of sex before marriage
None of the above
I'm religious person and I'll comment
I'm not religious person but I'll comment too
All 3 you listed are unacceptable

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Submitted by : larrynelmira
Submitted on : May 29,2009 6:51:06 am
ballot title:

What is unacceptable behavior?

ballot number:133576
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Sex before marriage is common, if not perfection. It's not safe (risk of STDs and pregnancy), but it happens. Just be careful.
Voted : None of the above
None of the above involve cruelty to others. If you'd listed 'abuse of children' or 'torture of animals,' I could see her point. As it is, however, she should PUT A SOCK IN IT, IMO.
Voted : Taking of Drugs
larry, I know you. YOU know you. Your opinion of yourself is the ONLY barometer you need ever consult.
I think it's subjective. Probably unacceptable behavior is what Mojo pointed out, like if someone is cold, calculating, cruel, rude, obnoxious and hurts other people for no reason. I say this only because the other things are more like actions that may only take place once. I guess I'm thinking more along the lines of a person's fundamental moral fiber and their values, like stealing from people and causing physical or mental harm to someone. You don't do any of those things, so I wouldn't worry about it. :)
Just one question Larry. How do they know this?

I would venture it's possibly unacceptable behaviour to let people know what is going on in your private life :-)

Keep it to yourself if possible.

^ I don't know if you mean on this site or out there in general, I don't tell everyone on the street my sex life, but how my aunt found out, my ex girlfriend and I were thinking of moving in with each other.

I received a lot of good advice from people on this site through the years and I asked that question yesterday in hopes I could get some advice concerning my aunt’s behavior.

No i dont mean telling people on here.

Maybe you shouldn't have told anyone you were moving in together :-)

just a thought. is your aunt married?
Maybe you should bring this topic up at the "Family Gathering" ...say like the fourth of July. You could start by saying that "My girlfriend and I are thinking about getting our own place. See how she reacts then. I would hope that you would have more support from other family members, especially if they believe that your girl is "Good Enough" for you. (I believe she is, For you are one of thee most caring of people I know, and I never even met you).

If your Aunt brings up the "living in sin" part, You can let other family members tell her that this 2009 and to get over it. And when she tries to play the "How your Mother would feel" you then can let out some of that pent up frustration toward her be using reverse psychology and try to make her feel about two feet by pointing out how much your mom believed in you, how much she trusted your judgement,and stood behind you. And that she (your Mom) would be upset at her (your Aunt) for think things like that as well as speaking things like that.

I’d like to point out that a Christian can be married legally in the eyes of the church, still be living in sin.

First, lets try to define “sin”. In this context, sin is to fall short of God’s expectations of us. We have all done this. Hence, we are all sinners. To be “living in sin”, therefore, is to continue, over a period of time that includes the present, in a manner of life that God does not want us to live in. This condition is not a “slip up”, but rather a decision to live a certain way.

The problem is not your Aunt. The problem is the failure of mainstream Christians to react with horror and dismay when you’re Aunt, and those like her, propound nonsense and call it gospel.
Voted : YOUR AUNT'S BEHAVIOR ! ! ! !
I don't think you will ever be the type of person to have a problem with drugs or alcohol and when it comes to sex, you've already screwed up even if you only lusted so I guess that puts all of us in the doghouse... I'd be willing to bet someday you will walk down that aisle or elope but in the meantime having a relationship is pretty much the norm... now, if you were pimpin' I might agree with your aunt... I know she means well but she should "butt out"...
Years of condemning cohabitation has done NOTHING to slow down the rate of cohabitation among young Christians and Non-Christrians alike. In addition, while rates of marriage continue to decline, rates of cohabitation are about to skyrocket since nearly 70% of high schoolers think living together is both harmless and worthwhile.

It’s time to “reinvent” and raise our expectations of cohabitation, and our attitudes toward those who decide to live together. There is a commonly held myth that marriage means you will “live happily ever-after.” However, there is no similar assumption of cohabitation other than “it won’t last” which helps create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It’s time to take a serious and non-judgmental look at cohabiting couples of all ages and help them strengthen and sustain their relationship to increase the likelihood they will marry.

We need to consider finding a new approach to this reality!

Voted : Taking of Drugs
You're not on drugs, you're not a drunk, you're not in jail... case closed.
In my mind, unacceptable behaviour is anything that brings harm to yourself or to anyone else. If your relationship is based on mutual respect and love, there is no harm in it.
Voted : None of the above
I talked with a priest about this one. He said sex before marriage is a sin unless it's with dirty sexy 8 year old boys.

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