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advice : culture :
[+] joke ballot by maxxman

If you have a specific neurosis take 2 prozac and call us in half an hour.Which of the following do you need?

If you're Obsessive Compulsive , press 1 repeatedly.
If you are Co - Dependant have someone press 2 for you.
If you have Multiple Personalities press 3,4,5,and 6.
If you are Paranoid , We know who you are , stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional , press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship.
If you're Manic Depressiveit doesn't matter which line you press no one will answer.
If you're schizophrenic listen closely, and a small voice will tell you which line to press.
If you're dyslexic press 969696969696.
If you're Psychotic , put away any sharp objects , then maybe we'll talk to you.
If you're grandiose , no one here is worthy of talking to you.
If you're jappy, call back under an assumed name
If you're schizoid , you won't want to talk
Bipolar: press 1 or #, depending
Borderlines: sorry, no one is available to help.
Passive-aggressives: just stare at the phone
Republicans: please go to the red courtesy phone.
If you're depressed, hang up. It's hopeless
If your suicidal, slash the phone lines this way X
If you have megalomania, please choke on a pretzel
If you are agoraphobic, press 8 for an inside line
If you think you are possessed, press 666
IC: You are not worth our time, hang up now
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Ballot #65734 : SEE RESULTS

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Submitted by : maxxman
Submitted on : Jan 26,2005 9:19:22 am
ballot title:

Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline , please make a selection from the following choices.

ballot number:65734
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If you're schizoid, please hang up now because you won't want to talk to anyone here.
I KNEW that was YOU on the line! STOP CALLING ME!
IC = Inferiority Complex, it wouldn't fit in the choices.

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