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private : advice :

I NEED A GOOD SCAM...


[+] joke ballot by magdalenasdollar
created Sun Jul 03, 05

I've had some $h*t luck the past few weeks...

It all started when I returned home from vacation, a finan¢e $ucker in itself, to a $350 ticket for running a light that was soooo yellllow... wink. Now somebody's stolen my cell phone (would be $200 to replace the same one, although I bought it for much cheaper with the plan) and racked up an extra $125 in calls. Also my favorite jeans ripped and my favorite pair of tennies separated from their soles while hiking on vacation. I was just about to start sending out my résumé to a handful of companies I would like to work for but now have no cell phone to take the calls! So, now I really feel the need to get back what has been taken from me... grrr...

What kind of scams could I pull?

Sell karma points
Steal somebody else's cell phone
Sell my body on e-bay, ship InternalColonel's ;)
Photoshop the ticket & mail to someone else, hoping they'll pay for my ticket
Steal clothes from a laundrymat & sell to thrift store, Fight Club style
Sell sage to ABC
Sell aspirin to dayumyumxanax
Have hot sex with Cletus on film
Blackmail Gorre with those pics you showed me-
Sell ur body on e-bay, and really ship it.
Collect Cred.Cards @ Retire.Home for a raffle
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Welcome, You landed on Bestandworst.com! Please Vote on the ballot on the left!

^Well, M-doll, what do ya say...am I worth it? =:-)=

entered by : CletuSlackedJawYokel
Submitted on : Jul 03,2005 5:39:30 pm

COMMENTS
We can sell the porno on the internet and eventually go mainstream with it. Hell, I've scammed a bunch of ladies wi... uh.. I mean.. ummm... er... WE'VE scammed a lot of people with that before. *Shifty eyes*

by CletuSlackedJawYokel on Sun Jul 03, 05 5:25pm [+]

I don't know if Cletus's suggestion would be worth the money.
by FiddleFaddleOnLSD on Sun Jul 03, 05 5:36pm [+]

It will only come back to haunt you. But this might make you feel better. Here's my 2005 so far:
Got kicked out of my apartment.
Had to throw away a U-Haul full of my stuff because my new place has no storage.
Had to PAY $110 to dump that stuff!!!
STILL had to get a public storage $99/mo
Lost my job (which I loved) because it was outsourced
Found out my 17 year old is having a baby (the baby is not a bad thing, but it's just very scary)
...and here's the latest - my old boss called me because they had a new position. Because of our contract with the union, there are 2 people above me in senority who could take the job first. They had not heard from them so they called to tell me I got the job. As I was jumping up & down and feeling so relieved.. he put me on hold, came back & said "you'll never guess who's on the phone" - It was one of the people above me. She went in two days later and she got the job.

Where is the bright side in this situation? I guess the fact that I am not on the corner smoking crack??!!
by SFLibra on Sun Jul 03, 05 5:38pm [+]

^Well, M-doll, what do ya say...am I worth it? =:-)=
by CletuSlackedJawYokel on Sun Jul 03, 05 5:39pm [+]

^Meant to address Fiddle lol.
by CletuSlackedJawYokel on Sun Jul 03, 05 5:40pm [+]

^Ok, lets be CLEAR, lol. That was intended to refute Fiddle's suggestion and ask M-doll... *braces for jokes* lol.
by CletuSlackedJawYokel on Sun Jul 03, 05 5:42pm [+]

:-) Me likely.
by CletuSlackedJawYokel on Sun Jul 03, 05 6:35pm [+]

Ah fuck it... so to speak. ME LIKEY!
by CletuSlackedJawYokel on Sun Jul 03, 05 6:36pm [+]

Oh, CRAP. I wasn't supposed to say that, was I? SORRY...
by Truthseeker013 on Sun Jul 03, 05 6:37pm [+]

No, you weren't TS! I suspect that, due to his age, those pix may get me in more trouble than him...
by magdalenasdollar on Sun Jul 03, 05 9:24pm [+]

Cletus, uh, none of the above stuff is true and you're my one and only! MWAH!
by magdalenasdollar on Sun Jul 03, 05 9:26pm [+]

If it makes you feel better, Mags, the past four years have been a nonstop stream of bad luck for me.
by nuckinfutz on Mon Jul 04, 05 1:38am [+]

Mags, how was I? ;-)
by CletuSlackedJawYokel on Mon Jul 04, 05 11:26am [+]

First you should get the list of phone numbers called from your cell phone and shake each person down until you find the person who stole it.

Then you sell their blood.
by _Beelzebubba on Tue Jul 05, 05 10:49am [+]

This is exactly what I did, _Beelz and it's seemed to have worked! I called one of numbers and the guy said he knew some kid he plays ball with at the park who's been bragging about his new phone and that he would go kick his ass and get my phone back for me, which he did yesterday. So supposedly my boyfriend can go pick it up today (he has the day off, I would never make him my b!tch..).
by magdalenasdollar on Tue Jul 05, 05 12:48pm [+]





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