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COMMENTS:
"I don’t think she wanted to get screwed along side the high way, that's not why she thought she needed a man at that moment "
why not? is she a prude or something? so why not larry? why didn't she want to get screwed along side the highway? i mean if you're going to get screwed along side the highway, you need a man. it's just one of those "mush haves."
"hmm, you know, i could use a good screw right now. i know i'm along side the highway, but i just have a hankering for a good screw -- where is a man when you need one!?"
^ must haves. mush haves. same thing.
Voted : Someone like you Larry, awww :)
All the women in my life have looked to me in matters from household repairs to car maintenance, and have always come away sorely disappointed. My thoughts regarding self car repair can be best described as this- "I don't take a paper on the feasibility of the Alcubierre warp drve while operating in (N-2)space across the domain defined by positive infinity to my mechanic to be proofed. So why should I take his work from him?"
Truthfully, I have no clue as to what might define a man. Myself, I try to be there for those who need me when they do need me, to stay hell and gone when I need to be hell and gone, to be faithful in my duties and to my beliefs, to conduct myself with honor and dignity, to respect all in all things, regardless of how my ersonal views might weigh in, and a host of other factors. (Well, guess I *did* have a definition...)
Oh, forgot *one important thing*...
When a lady says "I'm fat", it's my sworn duty to make sure hat she never has that thought again. (Guys, take this one to heart. It'll help.)
lol kev,
I know truth, why do some people think we're born with a wrench in our hands, some men are mechanical some aren't, it doesn't define us ?
Stupid woman! For driving a FORD ;-) An escort at that! She needs a f*cken wizard not just an ordinary 'man' to keep that heap of sh*t on the road.
Voted : Someone like you Larry, awww :)
I can change a tire, but that's about it.
Voted : A member of the human race.....
who could fix cars.
Voted : Someone who can fix cars
LOL guestuser!!
Ok umm, i wouldn't feel bad larry, i don't think she meant you, i think she just meant "man" as she is putting man in a category with "fixing cars" maybe you took it personally? I'm sure there are a million things you are good at, manly or not. I know i always need my brother for computer help, he's a "man" and my mother in law can fix cars! My brother that is a computer tech cannot fix a car if his life depended on it and my mother in law is up to her elbows in grease and can ride a chopper! Go figure!
hehe
Voted : A beef- eatin, hard drinkin', rowdy sumbitch!
Bring me the whole cow!
I'll carve off what I want and ride the rest home!
Larry: it's difficult to diagnose your breakdown without knowing the full details, e.g. whether it was raining and what happened just before the breakdown.
Let's deal with the obvious first - is there any fuel in the car?
Assuming there is: if it was dry & if the car just stopped running (i.e. no bangs, knocks or screeches) the fault will probably be either the fuel delivery system, electrical system or ignition system.
First thing to check is that your instrument lights illuminate and that the starter motor operates when the ignition key is inserted and turned. If not, your problem is with the electrical system - if the breakdown was preceded by your red battery light illuminating, your alternator has probably failed & you've drained the car's battery. If the battery light didn't illuminate you should check the fuse box for blown fuses. There are usually a couple of spare fuses in the fuse box for emergencies.
If you have dashboard illumination and your starter motor cranks, next thing to check is that you're getting a spark at the plugs - it's a good idea to carry a spare spark plug for this so you don't have to remove one of the ones in the engine. Just lay the side of the spark plug on an earthed component, e.g. the engine block, then crank the starter. You should see a spark if you have ignition. If not, or if the spark is very weak or irregular, check that the contacts are clean on the rotor arm & distributor cap (older models) or suspect a failed DIS pack (newer models). On really old models, check that your contact breaker points are opening - these are also located under the distributor cap.
On the other hand, if it was pissing down with rain when your car stopped, it's likely that the insulation on the HT leads (the leads that go between the spark plugs & distributor / DIS pack) has perished, allowing water to get in & short the HT circuit out against the cylinder head. You should dry them off with a cloth, spray them with a water-displacing light oil, e.g. WD40, and replace them at the earliest posssible opportunity.
If your dashboard illumination, starter motor and ignition are all working, you probably have a fuel problem. If you notice a strong smell of fuel, likelihood is that one of your fuel hoses has split.
Turn the engine over on the starter and sniff the exhaust pipe - if you can smell fuel, you have flooded the engine. Ideally you should remove the spark plugs & allow the excess fuel to vaporise off, but you can sometimes get the engine running by turning the starter with your foot flat to the floor on the accelerator - this allows more air into the combustion chamber than you'd get without your foot on the accelerator.
If you can't smell fuel then you've probably got a fuel delivery problem - failed fuel pump, blocked fuel filter, etc. You can jury-rig a fuel bottle to gravity feed into your carburettor (if your car has one, doesn't work with EFI) but in most cases I'd probably just call out a breakdown truck at this point.
This would probably take about an hour to arrive, so there'd be plenty of time to knob your aunt, lol! :-)
^This would probably take about an hour to arrive, so there'd be plenty of time to knob your aunt, lol! :-)
by ramaDUNG on Thu Jun 21, 07 3:30pm
I don't want that image in my mind dung, but thanks for the tips on fixing cars
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