I'VE BEEN A BALL BUSTER LATELY

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I'VE BEEN A BALL BUSTER LATELY

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private : I'VE BEEN A BALL BUSTER LATELY

[+] serious ballot by Kev24
created Thu Sep 06, 07
i know that i've been like a bear in heat lately (what ever that means). my dilema is that when i met adam, he was here on a long vacation with friends from england. we went back and forth on who would move where. i went to be with him for a month and he decided he would come here.

my dad pulled some strings and he can stay as long as he wants (justice for the few ;)

but i said i would move back with him if he wanted. i'm not sure, but i think he wants to go back for a year. trouble is, i have a few months of school left, though my internship is filling that requirement (if i sleep with the right guy that is ;)

what do i do? adam does what is best for me. he always -- and i mean always puts me first. but i want to make him happy and i think his being back in the u.k for a year would do that. keep in mind, here, my family treats him almost better than they do me (the guy is a real charmer!) and he has a great life here -- rugby, school, friends of his own, a kickin' apartment on central park, etc. all-in-all, not bad.

what should i do?

disclaimer: smoothdiamond, please, this is a very important question. no jokes.

stay
go
break up
have a baby
here's my pearls of wisdom

Ballot #117598 : SEE RESULTS

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COMMENTS:
the thing is, i want to put his happiness first and he wants to put mine first. that makes things tough.

by Kev24 on Thu Sep 06, 07 1:15pm [+]

Voted : here's my pearls of wisdom
finish up your courses, then join him

by mojo on Thu Sep 06, 07 1:26pm [+]

What's the most important to you bud? Your answer should come from that.

by FiddleFaddleOnLSD on Thu Sep 06, 07 1:28pm [+]

Voted : here's my pearls of wisdom
Have you even talked to him about this yet? If you only have a few months of school left, maybe he would wait for you to finish school and then you could go to England together?

by RunsWithScissors on Thu Sep 06, 07 1:30pm [+]

Until you finish school at least...you said he's got stuff to do here and it sounds like you don't want to go, so stay.

Decide when you're done with school what you want to do!

You should at least stay until you've shown him all that the US has to offer, like San Fransisco and Palm Springs 023

Take a road trip, and on your way stop in and say hi 039

by socal_sweetie on Thu Sep 06, 07 2:10pm [+]

finish up your courses, then join him
by mojo on Thu Sep 06, 07 1:26pm

What's the most important to you bud? Your answer should come from that.

by FiddleFaddleOnLSD on Thu Sep 06, 07 1:28pm

^ can't do it. he wouldn't and i wouldn't. that's the dilema. is he just trying to make me happy and sacrifice his own happiness. i don't know. but he won't ever leave without me and vice versa.

by Kev24 on Thu Sep 06, 07 2:31pm [+]

"can't do it" I'm not sure what you mean.

Are you will to sacrifice some of your own happiness to make him happy? If so, then it appears that there is something called "love" between the two of you. The conversation shouldn't really be here in a ballot, but with him. Dude... you know the answer...

by FiddleFaddleOnLSD on Thu Sep 06, 07 2:44pm [+]

Can't join him when you finish your courses? Please explain.

You two are married. Marriage is a bitch sometimes. I'm going through something similar right now. It sucks, but I just keep thinking: Would I rather be miserable here with him, or have to live without him somewhere else? Life gets more complicated the older you get.

Stay tuned :-}

by mojo on Thu Sep 06, 07 2:58pm [+]

The conversation shouldn't really be here in a ballot, but with him. Dude... you know the answer...
by FiddleFaddleOnLSD on Thu Sep 06, 07 2:44pm

^ well duh! it's not like we don't talk about it all the time. of course we do. but you know how it is -- "well what do you want to do?" "what ever you want to do." if both are so concerned about the other's happiness, it sort of nullifies it all.

by Kev24 on Thu Sep 06, 07 3:04pm [+]

because mojo, he won't go without me. this sucks. the question is -- does he want us to go or not? i have no idea.

by Kev24 on Thu Sep 06, 07 3:04pm [+]

^ p.s fidddle and mojo -- thanks for very solid and well-thought out advice. very much appreicated.

by Kev24 on Thu Sep 06, 07 3:06pm [+]

"he won't go without me"

oh, bummer

by mojo on Thu Sep 06, 07 3:25pm [+]

I think....

Maybe you just need to... uhm well .. work it out in a marathon --- session. How's that? 064

by FiddleFaddleOnLSD on Thu Sep 06, 07 8:15pm [+]

Voted : have a baby
Why not, thats how my Brothers girlfriend trapped him ;o)

By your description it seems that Adam has already established himself in New York, whereas you would be ‘thrown in at the deep end’ if you decided to move to Old Blighty with him. My advice would be to ask Adam to stay for those few months of school you have left and upon obtaining your grades decide which country you would both be happier living in. From what I’ve heard you say over the last few months I take it that your career will have a large economic element in it and therefore you should not have trouble getting a job in either London or New York. I would honestly suggest sitting down with Adam and discussing which country would suit your lifestyle better, as each has it's own benefits and drawbacks.

by winston on Fri Sep 07, 07 3:46am [+]

Voted : here's my pearls of wisdom
What mojo said. Love's a damn rare thing to find. Grab it and crazy-glue yourself to it when you find it.

by Truthseeker013 on Fri Sep 07, 07 6:57am [+]

well seems i was making more of it than needed. turns out, he's perfectly happy in the usa and all he asks is that we take long vactions in the u.k. fine by me. his family comes over at least twice a year anyway and this last time for a month. so i guess that works for him. yey!

by Kev24 on Fri Sep 07, 07 7:11am [+]

Voted : here's my pearls of wisdom
Never underestimate the value of direct communication. Ask him questions if you're uncertain about what he's thinking.

by Applerod on Fri Sep 07, 07 7:18am [+]

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