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credits to Tim Wilson.

there are 39 of them listed here.

come up with more please.

1. A virgin don't ever drive a Z-28
2. Never bet the ranch on your prostate.
3. If it's got an Adam's Apple it's probably a man.
4. Never trust a gay gypsy with the palm of your hand.
5. She didn't 'accidentally' get good in bed.
6. Ya can't join the church if your already dead.
7. A work uniform aint totally nude.
8. Brim and Bass aint seafood.
9. When there's guns in the house one better be yours.
10. Don't be naked next to any fishing lure's.
11. If there's girl scout cookies she's a little too young.
12. If ya say " i do" be the ugly one.
13. Never let a bald man borrow your comb.
14 Never play strip poker in a nursing home.
15. Don't blame your pall bearers cuz they don't show,
---- If your buried in the middle of the super bowl.
16. Let people borrow money they'll leave ya alone.
17. Never fry bacon without a shirt on.
18. Never spray water on a hornet's nest.
19. A woman rarely aces the drivers test.
20. The sign probably don't really mean massage.
21. Never threaten anybody in Camouflage.
22. Say you love her til she lays down the butcher knife.
23. Never put the moves on the bosses wife.
24. She's messing around on ya if ya briefs don't fit.
25. Never trust a hitchhiker to babysit.
26. Cosmo's never in a happy home.
27. Ya can't cut a deal with a kidney stone.
28. A politician aint got an HMO.
29. Washing her hair means she don't want to go.
30. Don't ridicule a biker about his tatoo.
31. You been married 9 times hell maybe it's you.
32. Doom Aint the same as Donkey Kong.
33. If he's wearing high heels ya might have raised him wrong.
34. The clinic aint the best place to pickup dates.
35. Don't rent a room from a man named Bates.
36. A tank-tops never on a billionaire.
37. Stevie Ray Vaughn missed a note here and there.
38. How many get to heaven? Noone knows
39. But Hell will be asses and elbows.

Never tell a woman she looks older than she says she is

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I can only answer this one when I've learned all 100 things fr myself, and that won't happen until well after I'm dead and gone.

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