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WHAT WOULD JESUS DO IF HE WERE ALIVE TODAY?

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what if : religion :

WHAT WOULD JESUS DO IF HE WERE ALIVE TODAY?


[+] ballot by saturnine
created Fri Oct 10, 03

What would Jesus do if he were alive today? Heal the sick? Kill the wounded? You decide!

The Olson twins.
Legalize the chronic, Biatch!
The 11th Commandment: Thou shalt rock!
Kill all the christians.
Smoke dead baby brains. [dried]
Mescaline.
Impeach George Bush!
He'd be in a Longevity clinc amazing the doctors
He would weep in dusgust
He would preach god's word. DUH.
sing in a metal band
Give americans cancer hes cool u c & theyr wankers
be flippin' burgurs wit hiz niggaz
Pray to the Father for us all
I am Jesus!
Kill 99% of everyone on earth
He won't come back
THROW UP
masturbate to brittney spears videos
Steal hub caps from cars like the rest of them
Rapture
choke on a preztal
spank everyone who uses bible to justify spanking


Ballot #3212 : SEE RESULTS

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COMMENTS:
He'd try to cross a street, get hit by a bus, die as the world's oldest asshole.
by Archangel on Sun Oct 12, 03 1:04pm [+]

YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING ASS HOLES
by Jasomat on Tue Oct 14, 03 11:45pm [+]

ooooooh saturnine is so edgy. I feel dangerous just reading his ballot. oooh isn't satanism cool? Attacking Jesus and the Christian church is like shooting fish in a barrel.
by i_carnt_spel on Wed Oct 15, 03 4:13am [+]

I'm not a Satanist, you fucking moron. I just have a sense of humor. Of course, if you were a real Christian, maybe you wouldn't stoop to "my level." Get a life.
by saturnine on Wed Oct 15, 03 9:47pm [+]

I may have no life but don't you fucking dare call me a Christian. The satanist pop was probably uncalled for. Sorry. Just taking a chance I suppose. I'd take pleasure in calling someone a satanist and being right because they are horrible, selfish people. I don't like jumping to conclusions and being wrong :o( Looks like I only just have a sense of humour too.
by i_carnt_spel on Thu Oct 16, 03 5:44am [+]

You'll want to read about Maitreya then, Dave. He claims to be the messiah for the age of aquarius and is the second coming, imam mahdi, next buddha blah blah blah blah blah. Yes Dave people do have free will. How will "Jesus" affect our free will when he appears on satellite tv? 'Cos no doubt about it, this phony Christ will be media savvy. Please be very suspicious of anyone who tries to bring about world government. It is a way to control people more easily.
by i_carnt_spel on Mon Oct 20, 03 10:25am [+]

Rrrrreeeeaaallllllyy? Who told you that, Jesus?
by i_carnt_spel on Tue Oct 21, 03 10:01am [+]

He would take all those who believes/believed in Him to heaven and cast those who didn't into Hell! (I feel sorry for your souls)
by stranger7800 on Wed Oct 29, 03 12:50pm [+]

What about a Hindu who spent their whole life helping other people and bringing joy to the world but thought Jesus was a load of made up bullshit? Would God (who loves all humans equally) send them to hell? I don't think so. Instead of spreading love like Jesus would probably have wanted stranger7800 is spreading fear. Cheers.
by i_carnt_spel on Thu Oct 30, 03 3:46am [+]

He'd be in Las Vegas performing miracles 2 shows a night.
by grapost on Tue Nov 11, 03 4:15pm [+]

I suppose this is supposed to be comical but this is far from that. If Jesus were alive today he would die of a broken heart because we have all disappointed him and the belief in God is diminishing. There seems like there's plenty of antichrist right in this room.
by cleopatra on Sat Nov 15, 03 6:30pm [+]

Wow! Better than Nietsche.
by i_carnt_spel on Mon Nov 24, 03 8:55am [+]

He'd probably become a TV evangelist.
by Biggus_Dickus on Thu Nov 27, 03 3:02pm [+]

"If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today
He'd be gunned down cold by the CIA.
But the lights that now burn brightest
Behind stained glass will cast the darkest shadows upon the human heart."

The the.
Armageddon Days Are Here Again
by i_carnt_spel on Fri Dec 05, 03 7:51am [+]

word
by Fullspeed250 on Mon Dec 22, 03 11:01am [+]

Cry for everyone on this website.
by Barbara_Baby_Cakes on Mon Jan 05, 04 8:48pm [+]

god hates fags! this means you! burn in hell you filthy intestinal parasite infected aids scum
by xxxxxxxx on Wed Jan 21, 04 12:28pm [+]

host America's funniest home videos
by xxxxxxxx on Thu Feb 12, 04 10:57pm [+]

THOU SHALL NOT have these sick fantasies or fetishs about me!!

I am here to save, but if you piss me off, I will destroy your monkey ass and send you straight to hell.
by Jesus_christ on Thu Feb 26, 04 2:05am [+]

I will turn all sinners into weed and smoke the shit.
by Jesus_christ on Thu Feb 26, 04 2:12am [+]

Jesus would be disgusted that his name has been used as a tool for hatred, especially against Jews since he was Jewish.
by Mean_Gene on Fri Mar 05, 04 2:19pm [+]

Go to a Major League baseball game and root for the Braves.
by ottorex on Sun Mar 07, 04 2:36pm [+]

He would spank every living person who has ever tried to claim that the Bible supports spanking. It does not. Everybody thinks it says "spare the rod, spoil the child" but that quote was not coined until 1759, and appears nowhere in the Bible.
by Psycho_Frighead on Fri Apr 02, 04 11:52am [+]

He would "DO" Pamela Anderson the first chance he got.
by GRAPOST on Tue Apr 13, 04 3:04pm [+]

He would "DO" Pamela Anderson the first chance he got.
by GRAPOST on Tue Apr 13, 04 3:05pm [+]






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