COMMENTS:
national disaster...
New recordings of Usama bin Laden proven to be recorded seven years ago on an 8 track.
Ashcroft Orders Breast Reduction for Statue of Liberty
"After immense amounts of vacation and personal time taken by the president in Crawford... Texans have staked claim and are enforcing the laws of "Squatters Rights" and intend construction of the new Presidential Mansion which will be refereed to as "Dubya's Adobe" but will be kindly refereed to as "The back 40"!"
ie. the White House will be set for demolition and plans for a Mosque in the form of a functional oil drill will be erected on the sight as a memorial to all that GW has touched!
by MO_ on Fri Aug 06, 04 1:53pm
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They're EEEEVIIIIL, folks...
Two term rule abolished....
Hey presto - not only the end of the two term rule but a national security alert. Just as we should expect towards the end of this year.... shortly before the election.
FLYING SAUCER LANDS ON WHITE HOUSE: Abducts Bush
A Robot known only as Gort and a man wearing Barry Manilow wardrobe who goes by the name of Klaatu, arrested George Bush for crimes against humanity. Klaatu explained that Bush would have to tried on his planet. He claied it had something to do with our legal system being able to f*ck up a rock fight.
'12,000 more burned at the stake this year - Bush keeps pledge to purge the ballot box of the'unpatriotic' - crowd cheers on cue'
"the bigger the lie, the more people will believe it, that's what Reagan always said. i was elected this time, honestly."
G W Bush speaking after landslide victory, gaining 92% of the vote.
Al-Jazeera report: EU and East Asian occupation forces dig deep into the heartland of the US. Surrender of the US could come soon.
In the joke section of the paper:
"Why does the US no longer have a good Olympic team?
Because anyone that can run, jump, or swim has gone to Mexico."
President Bush Declares Victory In the War On Terror, then wakes up.
Kudos to everyone (cept me) for their clever responses!
Americans have a character called Howdy Doody dont they.I saw him on a Happy Days show once.I mean , hes just wood isnt he? Or a puppet? What the bloody hell did they do to him ??
Applerod, your contribution was great!
Bigmonkeynuts, re: Howdy Doody, I think they made him into president.
by mojo on Sat Aug 07, 04 8:21am
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Yeh but holy crap.:o)
I think that John Kerry will win in '04 and end the war. By 2008 the economy will be back on track and a Bill Clinton type president will come to rise again. That's a Bill Clinton type president without a Monica Lewinsky. The chances of George W. Bush winning are high and if he wins then only god knows where the US will end up.
Fox news is now the only channel of tv. Texans cheer as the last remaining science book is burned.
********** THIS JUST IN **********
Sunday, July 6th 2008, ...the month prior!
Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin and El Presidente Vicente Fox Quesada of Mexico announce they have located and captured ousted American President G.W. Bush. A force of 600 Canadian and Mexican soldiers captured George W. Bush in a raid on Sunday (July 6th) on an isolated farm near Crawford, TX., Canadian and Mexican military officials said that the ousted American president was found, haggard and disoriented but alive, hiding at the bottom of an 8-foot-deep armadillo hole. When confronted to identify himself the former president merely replied "tadey's myy birthday, ann Immm dis miny" he proceeded to flash fingers on both hands several times before Allied forces lost interest and began delousing. They added: "For the recent history of America, a dark and painful era is over. A hopeful day has arrived. All Americans can now come together and reject violence and build a new United States"
by MO_ on Mon Aug 09, 04 12:10pm
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*LMAO*
by mojo on Mon Aug 09, 04 12:31pm
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I can't believe they're still printing papers after nuclear war!!
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