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COMMENTS:
I know a lot of people, especially men, think of it as a Tough Guy image to project; but my personal belief is that it is a sign of weakness -- indicating either a truncated capacity to empathize or an extreme unwillingness to risk being vulnerable.
I honestly dont know. I am a very unemotional guy and this has (and still does) cause a lot of friction between my girlfriend and I. I have tried to become more open and be more sensitive but alas I often fall short. Needless to say this drives her mad. She is a very emotional person using what I describe as full spectrum sensitivity. I have a typical Irish male attitude. When things are going badly I throw my hands in the air and say "ah fuck it". I sometimes wish she could be as detached as I. It would make my life a little easier but deep down I know it is me that needs the work not her. So in answer to your question (at long last) I would probably say its a Strength my better half would say Weakness.
by B_P on Thu Sep 30, 04 9:32am
[+]
It depends. Many of my female friends seem to fall apart if they don't have a man in their lives. They mentally cannot be happy unless they are attached to a man. I have never felt that way, in fact, I very much love being single and enjoying the freedom. It's just not as financially satisfying. :)
B_P: I hear ya. I tend to be a bit that way myself. But you *are* still in a relationship. What I am talking about are those who have no desire for relationships of any kind or any degree of attachment.
Isn't 'frigid' the word?
Nope, that's just sexual, not a real relationship.
Shame I don't live in Florida, Tads. You could set me up with one of your desperate friends :)
What makes you think I would share you? :)
Our these relationships, friendships or partnerships?
by MO_ on Thu Sep 30, 04 12:50pm
[+]
Okay, I should have read some of the comments before my last entry.
I don't know... There was a time in my life I was always in a relationship and referred to the time between them as " Purgatory ".
Right now, I'm very comfortable side stepping them.
by MO_ on Thu Sep 30, 04 12:55pm
[+]
I don't really see it as either, just a psychological response to some events, perhaps genetic as well. But I will go with Depends, since it seems healthiest to be in the middle, and weak to be at either extreme.
Are/Our... the Nazis will be after me for sure!
by MO_ on Thu Sep 30, 04 12:57pm
[+]
I agree with Mags. If you fall apart due to a break up, I find that to be weak. But complete detachment is also a weakness, and I believe it comes from fear - the person might not even realize they have this fear - they think they are being strong. I enjoy when I'm single, and I enjoy being in a relationship. Funny how neither situation ever seems to be permanent. Non-permanence (impermanence? Nazis?) - does that make me weak or strong?
I originally picked strength, but on second thought, "depends" is a better answer. There are some advantages to being in a relationship, such as strength in numbers and the fact that the world is designed for people who want relationships. But being one of those emotionally detached people, I don't see the point of being in a relationship myself. Solitude lets me do the things I really want to do, while the inconveniences of a relationship would outweigh the conveniences.
There you go again, hitting me where I live...
I've NEVER been a people person. I can be polite and mannerable as needed, but I can just as easily be rude and condescending, and I'm willing to take out ad space to that effect. I've come to the conclusion that it's genetic, because my mother tells me that my father could be the same way in his moments. But I also have those nagging moments when I seek out the companionship of others, and quickly come to realize why I DON'T try.
People are who they are. Should we call dolphins strong because they are grey?
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