DEPRESSION: DO YOU REALISE HOW TOTALLY DEBILITATING IT IS?

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relationship : DEPRESSION: DO YOU REALISE HOW TOTALLY DEBILITATING IT IS?

[+] serious ballot by keithsheen
created Wed Nov 10, 04
Depression FU*KS YOU UP, man....

The phone rings and I feel like hiding in the opposite corner and putting my fingers in my ears. Or picking up the phone and smashing it against the wall.

The doorbell rings and I definitely hide somewhere I can't be seen from any windows.

I thought emails were a gentle solution but sometimes I have to get really drunk before I even CHECK my emails, let alone reply, so FEARFUL am I of CONFLICT or BAD NEWS or any unpleasantness.

I seem to have lost another really good friend today because.... well it's a long story but it's pretty much because of my serious clinical depression. My (now ex-) friend doesn't understand depression and I was always too embarrassed to explain it. And I can see that it looks like I really messed my friend around but I didn't mean to. I was just too depressed to communicate my feelings and let them down several times (every time I felt SO BAD but still couldn't explain).

Thanks to the media (and the law courts, but that's another story), depression is something to HIDE, BE ASHAMED OF, EMBARRASSED ABOUT....

But it's VERY COMMON. Sometimes we depressives find each other. If you're depressed, it's sometimes easy to spot another depressive. I've found a few on B&W. WONDERFUL people they often are. Wonderful, suffering people.

F*CKED UP.

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COMMENTS:
yeah I'm not in a good mood at the moment. It'll pass though. Excuse me for living.

by keithsheen on Wed Nov 10, 04 7:54pm [+]

This is one of the best ballots i have ever seen man, i mean it.

You aint alone brother

by Doctordraw on Wed Nov 10, 04 8:10pm [+]

Get ready for a karma overload boyo :(

by Doctordraw on Wed Nov 10, 04 8:10pm [+]

*Hugs keithsheen* Aw... don't run!

by Cherri on Wed Nov 10, 04 8:16pm [+]

I've been depressed for the last two years for no reason, I take meds for it but they don't seem to work. Funny almost all of what you said applies to me also.

by lowerclassbrats on Wed Nov 10, 04 9:34pm [+]

Every day seems the same wake up feeling all guilty for no reason go to work go insane, come home hide in my room drink a 40oz. Wonder what my purpose is get all bummed out write a song or poem and pass out. Rinse and repeat.

I know it doesn't have to be this way but I'm having the hardest time changing. Not sure how I got here but hopefully I'll be able to bust out of this funk.

You're not the only one hang in there dude.

by lowerclassbrats on Wed Nov 10, 04 9:40pm [+]

Yeah my life ain't been easy, and it gets depressing sometimes, but that lasts briefly cause I am almost always in a positive state of mind. Good luck man.

by CletuSlackedJawYokel on Wed Nov 10, 04 10:21pm [+]

Yup. No matter how much you kick yourself in the ass to crawl out of that hole and step into the sunlight, you always fall back in again. Sometimes the sunlight burns your eyes. It's such a relief when you step out of it, you can't imagine how you ever fell back in again, but you always do.

Depression is just a part of who you are. You learn to cope with it, but you never rid yourself of it. Sometimes I am actually grateful for it. The best music, poetry and art is created from depression.

Other times it rips me away from my life, from the things that matter. I get so caught up in my own problems and worry so much about the pain I'm causing those around me, that I can't even do anything about it because I've convinced myself I'm such a failure.

I wish you the best, keith, lcb, draw, all of us. Just remember the beautiful things in life we have: keith: your daughter :), draw: your girlfriend :) lcb: your wife :)

by magdalenasdollar on Thu Nov 11, 04 11:52am [+]

I've been dragged down there before, so I know how debilitating it can be, like being in a pitch dark mineshaft with slippery walls. Please know you're not alone and that people love you for who you are and for what you are. Real friends will stick around.

I love you guys.

by xxxxxxxx on Thu Nov 11, 04 12:37pm [+]

I am depressed much of the time. Emotional stress and pain eating away at me. Physical pain hurts, but it will fade away. Emotional pain lingers, hurting as long as it's there. Unable to rationalize everyday situations and everyday life. One day I was so screwed up I didn't feel like i even existed, it was as if i lost my mind and had snapped. I just walked around in surrounding area, it was as if I was a zombie, and in my own mind, i was.

by Gorre on Thu Dec 09, 04 4:18pm [+]

Mags, you are in no way a failure. You're great, you're perfect. You're a goddess, Mags. I agree with you, the best music and poetry comes from depression, a force that will share control of my life. Struggling not to fade away, struggling not to drown in the dark plague

by Gorre on Thu Dec 09, 04 4:22pm [+]

I have had clinical depression for years I lost my job, my 7yr relationship, half my family, all my friends and my life. All I do now (excluding going on this site) is lay on my bed in the dark. I'm with you dude!

by louisfifer on Fri Jan 07, 05 7:40am [+]

Been there, done that. You take meds?? I spent years in a deep depression filled with fear and anxiety. Been taking Paxil for a couple years which has some rather unpleasant side effects, but has allowed me to live a normal life. Hang in there!

by cjamesstuart on Mon Sep 05, 05 1:38am [+]

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