COMMENTS:
In the book of Genesis, replace the part about "The snake said unto Eve..." with "The Snake sent Eve a FAX."
What? You say snakes don't send FAXes? Sheesh, that's just the point! Do snakes talk?
sssSSssometimes, just ask Harry Potter!
Hey! He's just as real!
And the Lord saith unto His Moses, "We are all descended from the apes. I made them almost in my image. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
by mojo on Mon Nov 15, 04 12:09pm
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*sorry about that extra His
by mojo on Mon Nov 15, 04 12:11pm
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And Simon Peter said unto Satan, "Dang! Judas got thirty silver pieces!? Pay up, b*tch!"
And Jesus said unto his disciples, "Take, eat, this is my body."
And the disciples answered unto Jesus, "Eat your body? What are you, some kind of faggot?"
And then it came to pass that all Gay Marriages should be legalized...
And Jesus said to Pilot, "It wasn't me, it was those other guys, I happen to think you're doing a great job."
God said, "let there be light," and yo momma seriously did sit down!
And the wrathful Lord did smite all greedy corporations and HMOs...
by mojo on Mon Nov 15, 04 12:23pm
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On the third day God said, "Let there be water."
On the fourth day God said, "{glub blub gurgle glub} ALL RIGHT! TURN THAT !@#$%^&* water OFF, already! I said 'let there be water' not 'please drown me'! I can't believe you shitheads left it running all night!"
And then Jesus turned to his Disciples and said unto them, "You got PUNK'D!"
They actually found a missing part of thebible in the Dead Sea Scrolls.
It reads, 'To My Darling Candy - all characters herein are fictional and no similarity to anyone living or dead should be infered'
God said" ya'll gon make me lose my mind, up in her, up in her!
The Virgin Mary may not of lossed her cherry but DAYUM! That bitch could suck a dick!
LOL! Dingleberry's are good!
This is a good ballot, heh..
I can't do this anymore.
Do what?
And after they nailed Jesus up on the Cross, the Roman soldiers noticed the smile on His face and said unto Him, "Hey, thou art really into this whole S&M scene, aren't thou?" And Jesus answered them, "No, verily, it's technically B&D that I'm more into."
And I say unto you, chill dudes, and don't take all this stuff so seriously (jeez!).
And bewarest thou of wolves dressed in sheeps clothing, for ,verily, they shall appear before thee on thy tv screens, wearing white suits and pompadoured hair, and asking thee to please help them keep their ministry on the air.
Haha I like the Last words of Jesus: I can see my house from here! one.
by seon on Mon Nov 15, 04 10:32pm
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God stoodeth forward and saideth "thy cock is bigger than all", with this God shagged Mary dafteth and saideth "thou waseth no virgin; you sluteth"
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