advice : culture : WELCOME TO THE MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE , PLEASE MAKE A SELECTION FROM THE FOLLOWING CHOICES. [+] joke ballot by maxxman created Wed Jan 26, 05 If you have a specific neurosis take 2 prozac and call us in half an hour.Which of the following do you need? If you're Obsessive Compulsive , press 1 repeatedly. If you are Co - Dependant have someone press 2 for you. If you have Multiple Personalities press 3,4,5,and 6. If you are Paranoid , We know who you are , stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional , press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship. If you're Manic Depressiveit doesn't matter which line you press no one will answer. If you're schizophrenic listen closely, and a small voice will tell you which line to press. If you're dyslexic press 969696969696. If you're Psychotic , put away any sharp objects , then maybe we'll talk to you. If you're grandiose , no one here is worthy of talking to you. If you're jappy, call back under an assumed name If you're schizoid , you won't want to talk Bipolar: press 1 or #, depending Borderlines: sorry, no one is available to help. Passive-aggressives: just stare at the phone Republicans: please go to the red courtesy phone. If you're depressed, hang up. It's hopeless If your suicidal, slash the phone lines this way X If you have megalomania, please choke on a pretzel If you are agoraphobic, press 8 for an inside line If you think you are possessed, press 666 IC: You are not worth our time, hang up now Ballot #65734 : SEE RESULTS Comment: show your vote with comment?

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