COMMENTS:
"Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!" - Billy Connolly (thats not my favourite line, i just cant think of any more right now)
The biggest conspiracy has always been the fact that there is no conspiracy. Nobody's out to get you. Nobody gives a shit whether you live or die.
There, you feel better now?
---Dennis Miller
Billy Connolly has all the best quotes
"What is it with McDonald's staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you're ordering? It has to be a McChicken burger...a chicken burger gets blank looks. Well, I'll have a McStraw and jam it into your McEyes, you f**cking McTosser!" - Billy Connolly
"Two guys are talking and one says to the other: "What would you do if the end of the world was in 3 minutes time?" The other one says, "I'd sh*g everything that moved...What would you do?" And he says, "I'd stand perfectly still." - Billy Connolly
"What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?" - Billy Connolly
"Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on." - Billy Connolly
gotta love the Big Yin
The line is, "When you're on fire, and runnin' down the street, people will move out your way."
When my mother found out I was coming to do this show. She said "Why don't you wear that suit your grandfather wore?"
So I got a shovel...
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