WHATS WRONG WITH MY SCHOOL?

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advice : ethics :

WHATS WRONG WITH MY SCHOOL?


[+] ballot by drinkaholic
created Wed Oct 12, 05

I dont really know how to start but I really need advice and since many of you past the school stage,maybe you can help me?I cant post this on LO because I dont know whats wrong with advice section so y'know.Ok...Why do people hate nice people and love mean people?I mean oh my god,my school is hell on earth.I hate my school.Look,Ive noticed all the popular people are mean,I mean REALLY mean,and all the nice people are regarded as losers or they are disliked.Why!I though people like nice people?I mean people are nice so they can be liked but NO,in my school its the otehr way around.If you're nice you are hated,if you are mean,you are worshipped!Its ridiculous.
Ok im not trying to brag or anything,but I consider my self as a nice person.I hate hurting anyone's feelings and Im just not mean,u know what I mean?Ok so in school,people hate my guts.Listen to my experiences in this 'wonderful' schoolyear:
I sit beside a Korean girl called Karen in class.She was new in school last year so I just thought it would be nice if I hungout with her so she wouldnt feel like the new person.So I was glad I was sitting beside her in class.So sometimes she asks me if she can copy my homework so I always give her my homework because I really dont mind,its not big deal.So once,I didnt do my Maths homework because I was studying for an Arabic exam I had,and I had so much to memorize that I didnt do any homeworks.So I asked her if I can copy her Maths homework and she was like NO,I didnt do it.So I decided I'll just get a detention because I was careless not to do it,and when the teacher was checking who did it and who didnt do it,it turns out she did it!She just didnt want to give it to me.I understand some peole might get annoyed if someone asked themto copy their homework,but I also let her copy fromme,why didnt she let me?
-Ok this is another things,its also about Karen.See,sometimes I dont understand what the teacher is explaining so sometimes I ask Karen if she can explain the concept to me,she SHOUTS at me!She tells me to stop asking her because its annoying!But you see,whenever she doesnt understand something,I always explain it to her!She so freaking mean!I hate her man,I really do.
-So this is about another girl in class.See this girl,her dad is a millionare and she comes from a known family.So she talks to everyone in class expect for me,she ignores me.So I dont have a problem with her,so you know the only time she ever talks to me is when she wants a pen or a pencil.Actually she doesnt even ask me,she takes my pencilcase,takes a pencil or a pen,and throws the pencilcase back at me and she doesnt even look at me!od,she cant even afford her own pencilcase,yet she's a millionare.Its like Im an open stationary!I mean thats rude!Oh and I bought this new lead pencil and I bought a pack of lead for it.Believe it or not,the millionare girl and Karen used the whole packet and I didnt even get to use it!They never even asked me!Karen uses the excuse that she's too lazy to bring out her lead packet but her freaking pink pencilcase is right infront of her!I swear this is getting to much to handle.
-This is about a guy.Oh that guy,I swear to god,I hate that guy.Twice a week,we have a religion class,so people from other classes join it too.So there is this guy,he flirts with every girl,smiles at every girl and is so sweet to every girl except for...u guessed it,ME.I sit beside another girl and he always smiles at her and does her favours but sometimes I look around the classroom and I meet with his big face.He give me that look,geez,I cant explain explain how that look is.He gives me that look,kinda like you-murdered-my-mom look combined with u-dont-belong-here look.I dont know why he hates me!I never even met him before and I never talked to him.And he makes fun of me with his friends!

I dont know whats up with people?I mean Im realling thinkng of starting to ditch my school because of this tragedy(yes to me,it is!).Im so nice to everyone and I always wait for my 'friends' but everyone treats me like dirt.And I also noticed the other nice people,which is a rare diamond in my school,are also disliked or usually alone.It sucks!Oh listen this,my so-called friends,I dont even know where they are half the time because they 'runaway' from me,and one of them talks to me when she feels like it but if I try to talk to her,she rolls her eyes and like tries to make me shutup.Im like this welcome mat where everyone cleans this ugly,big,dirtfilled shoes on me.Its also happening to other people in school.Why?Is something wrong with me or does this happen in all schools?What do I do?I cant turn into a mean person because I just cant.Please please help.
Thanks for reading this ....huge..letter.
Drink.

This happens in all schools
Something is wrong with you
Welcome to seventh grade


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COMMENTS:
First off, let me say that it's a great thing that you don't decide to be mean just to "fit in". This kind of thing happened in my school. I really hated it, it was really frustrating. Everyone thought that I was kinda weird though, even a lot of the nice people, but that was just me. So I didn't have any "real" friends to speak of. All I can say is try to seek out the nicer people as much as you can and try to be friends with them. At least then you'll have a circle. Try to forget about the massive popularity of the mean people.
by nuckinfutz on Thu Oct 13, 05 3:20am [+]

Most of those "mean" people are really insecure and thus trying to pick themselves up by making other people feel bad. High school is not the best time of most people's lives because, not surprisingly, many adolesents are generally pretty insecure about everything. I would agree with nuckinfutz and advise you find a group of people you get along with a stick with them and screw the "popular" crowd. It's not easy, but try and just forget that they exist. Besides most of the people who are in the "popular" crowd now end up working at Walmart in 5 years while all those nice geeks are getting good jobs and signing bonuses after finishing college. You really don't want high school to be the best time of your life.
by cdubatrc on Thu Oct 13, 05 4:46am [+]

The 'popular' people are mean because, well they're popular and reckon this gives them good enough reason to do what the hell they like. People like the mean people because they are probably afraid to say any different.
Whoever said school was the best days of ones life were really ...well, you know! :p
by tera_ble on Thu Oct 13, 05 5:18am [+]

As people have summed here, it essentially comes down to the benefits. Yes, benefits. If you are popular, then you have it made even if the popular people are scum.
I experienced this garbage when I was in high school, so went over to the dark side. In other words, I started hanging with the bad crowd. Landed me in a continuation high school, but then I made friends with the intelligent wrong crowd. All of us were straight A (or nearly so students), all of high scorers on our SATs, and we knew how to score the good dope and beer. All of a sudden, I was quite popular with about every segment and clique.
I don't recommend this though. It was just a fluke of my universe.
by THX1138 on Thu Oct 13, 05 6:30am [+]

Being nice is one thing, being a pushover is another.

One should always try to be nice, but one should also always standup for ones self. It sounds to me like all those people have a serious lack of respect for you. One way to get the respect you deserve is to stand up for yourself.

The next time Karen want's to copy your homework tell her you didn't do it. Just like she did to you. The next time ignore her. The time after that tell her you didn't do it again. And so on. She'll get the hint. And she'll know why you're doing it too.

The next time Karen asks you to explain something the teacher said, when you see her comming move away, do something so you can act like you don't hear her. After that tell her to stop asking you because it's annoying. You don't need her.

As for the rich girl,the next time she tries to steal your pencils and such, stop her, ask her what she's doing. Don't let her take anything without asking. Nicely. Or if she has it, take it back. It not hers. It's yours. She's a thief. You have ever right to stop her from stealing from you. Do SOMETHING! If you wanted a pencil from that girl, and she didn't want to give it to you, she would do or say something to let you know.

You asked for advice so I'm giving you what's basically the same advice I would give my own daughter, don't let people walk all over you. The way that everyone is treating you, is the way you're LETTING them treat you!

Never stop being nice, but only act nice to people who deserve it.
by malckdaddy on Thu Oct 13, 05 7:05am [+]

Listen to the Boomtown Rats song called I Don't Like Mondays, that should answer some of your questions.
by Guy_Cabbelero on Thu Oct 13, 05 8:18am [+]

That's Koreans for you. Ask her to cease and desist with this behaviour, if an amicable solution can't be reached, threaten force, if that doesn't work, maybe a bribe may be in order. :o)
by xxxxxxxx on Thu Oct 13, 05 8:58am [+]

WOW! All that sounds awful. To be honest, I don't think someone can give you a 100% certain advice on this (and saying that really hurts me, since I am somewhat famous for my advices!). You must be doing something wrong! One thing that is wrong is letting people to push you around. I am a nice guy. Everybody says that, but from time to time I kick someones ass, just as deterrent for those who think they can profit my kindness.
Let me tell you a story of something that ended a few days ago (not to brag, but maybe this is going to be useful). I have a fried that I know for 4 years. He is older than me and he has a degree in literature. He is quite smart and I always enjoyed talking to him. I am no master in literature, but after reading a good book I always like sharing my impressions and the guy was my partner in conversation. However, he always patronized me (in other words he always acted like between me and him, he is the smarter one). His attitude never bothered me (doe I have quite a big ego), because that behavior was caused by his character; it wasn't something he was doing on purpose, to humiliate me; he is just the kind of guy who thinks he's smart no matter what. But recently he started lecturing me about history. And this time, I am the one who has a degree. I graduated history college and also a postgraduate course in history: I teach history. So his attitude struck a sensitive cord. One weak ago I registered on a romanian forum (he is a member of that forum for 2 years) and kicked his ass. I humiliated him, I proved to him (and to the other users) that his history knowledge is shallow and annoyed him enough to react using "strong" words. Doe I was on that site for only a few days, many other users joined me. At the end of the day he was humiliated! I thought he would never speak to me again (I didn't really care). But you know what? He still speaks to me, but now he is carefully avoiding certain subjects and (what I like best!) not only that he abandoned any attempts to patronize me, but he actually struggles to prove me how smart he is. In this moment he is scarred of me and unsure of him. The moral of this story: I am a nice guy with a very sensitive tail.

Don't let others to step on your tail! Fight back! And the easiest way to submit people is to know what they think about themselves and prove them how wrong they are. Everybody has an image about himself. I bet the easiest way to push you around it would be to "prove" you what a mean person you are. If I'd do that, you'll be "fallowing" me trying to prove me that you are nice. If you challenge someones view about himself, he is at your mercy. But to be honest I don't know if this will work in your situation, because it seems that you are somehow isolated and this "tactic" only works if you can isolate "him". But one advice will certainly work: don't let them push you around. If you manage to remain untouched by their behavior, that could, in time, puzzle them enough to find a breach in their "defense". Stop trying to gain their sympathy, because they don't care! They have each-others sympathy! Many people enjoy seeing how others try to gain their sympathy, because in this way they feel important. So stop making them feel important, by stopping your nice behavior.
by johan_moritz on Thu Oct 13, 05 11:17am [+]

Wow thanks a bunch guys,I really appreciate your help,Im really grateful because it is helping me alot!

-Nuckinfutz : Yeah,ur absolutely right,I should just hang out with nice people and not care about the populars.
-cdubatrc : Yep,thats what I always imagine!They'll probably spend their years working at some lousy shop!
-tera_ble : I will try to make my schoolyears better!
-THX1138 : Thanks for the recommendation!
-malckdaddy :Thank you,your advice helped me so much.
-Guy_Cabbelero:I sure will.
-InternalColonel:Yes,Ill try that someday!
- johan_moritz :Good for you!Ill try to use ur technique.

by drinkaholic on Sat Oct 15, 05 8:03am [+]






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