ethics : IF YOU HAD A KID AND TOLD ALMOST EVERYONE ABOUT IT BUT COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO TELL YOUR GRANDMOTHER, COULD YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF KNOWING THIS? [+] serious ballot by xxxxxxxx ACTIVE Sun Feb 26, 06 - Fri Nov 21, 08 First, let me get this clear: My grandmother and I are close. VERY close. So I just found out that there's a new addition to my family! My cousin knocked up a girl, and she gave birth to a boy on Friday. Now my cousin (let's call him Paul, especially since it's his name) told his parents, and his mom's mother was informed as well. But his dad's mother -- the grandmother which he and I share -- was kept out of the loop (as were my parents, sister, and self, but that's not as important). So yesterday, the day after baby Chase was born, my uncle showed up at Granny's house with the good news as well as pictures. The pictures included pictures of the baby with all his other great-grandparents -- Paul's other grandma and the baby's mother's grandparents -- but they decided to keep Granny out of the loop. Now, Granny isn't part of the Christian Right by any means -- her views are quite similar to mine, and in fact a shotgun wedding was the only thing separating her from illegitimately birthing my dad -- so she wouldn't feel ashamed at all by the fact that Paul's an illegitimate father. She'd feel absolute joy at being a great-grandma. In fact, I'm sure that she still does despite this all, even though she's apparently really hurt by this all, and rightly so. The reason my mom suspects that Granny wasn't informed (a reason I'm inclined to believe as well) is because my aunt and Granny haven't ever really seen eye-to-eye. They have the stereotypical mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship. My mom and Granny get along famously, but somehow my aunt and Granny just don't connect. The thought is that somehow spite is involved -- that said, to me, it's Paul's fault and nobody else's, no matter my aunt's influence. However, my aunt and uncle never mentioned a thing either -- sure they only found out about it all two months before the kid was due, but that's still plenty of time to tell the news. Maybe it's because I'm so close to my Granny -- not to mention that she's my only living grandparent -- but I can't see why Paul would do this. If you were in this situation, could you live with yourself knowing that you kept your grandmother out of your kid's life? Yes, I think I could deal with it. No, I couldn't live with myself. Ballot #89049 : SEE RESULTS Comment: show your vote with comment?

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